Violence is always wrong regardless of whether a specific act is criminally punishable. This is true even if criminal law treats certain acts differently.
If you use violence, you risk more than legal consequences. You hurt people close to you. You lose their trust. You may also lose your home, contact with your children, or your reputation.
«I lost control. Now I deal with the consequences every day.»
«When the police showed up, half the neighborhood found out. After that, I was the guy who ‘does that.’»
How does the police respond?
The police intervene when they become aware of an incident, even if no formal complaint has been filed. They can order you to leave, which means you must leave the apartment. They can also ban you from entering a specific area or from approaching the person you harmed. Such measures can apply for several days or weeks. The police can also involve KESB (Child and Adult Protection Authority) if children are affected.
«I never thought KESB would get involved. That someone would tell me I cannot see my child anymore, it broke me.»
«I told the police it was a misunderstanding. But it wasn’t.»
What does the law say about domestic violence?
In Switzerland, criminal law distinguishes between two types of offenses: offences that are prosecuted automatically by the authorities and offences that are prosecuted only if the person harmed files a complaint.
Official offenses are automatically prosecuted by the police and public prosecutor, regardless of whether a report is filed. These include:
- Bodily harm: Causing physical injury or harm to another person’s health (e.g., punching, choking, breaking an arm).
- Repeated assaults: Multiple physical attacks without visible injuries (e.g., slapping, pushing, pulling hair).
- Threats: Threatening violence or harm in order to pressure someone (e.g., «If you leave, something will happen.»)
- Coercion: Forcing someone through violence or threats to do something against their will (e.g., unlocking their phone, not leaving the apartment, handing over money).
- Attempted or completed homicide: Attempting to kill or killing another person (e.g., through suffocation, with a firearm, or with a knife). This is the most extreme form of relationship violence and disproportionately affects women.
- Sexual coercion: Forcing someone into sexual acts through violence, threats, or psychological pressure.
- Rape: Forcing someone to engage in sexual intercourse without consent.
«I showed my child what fear looks like. I wish I could undo that.»
«I regret what I did. I never thought it would have such consequences.»
Offences prosecuted only upon complaint are pursued only if the affected person files a complaint. These include:
- Single assaults: Physical attacks (e.g., a slap, push, pulling hair).
- Property damage: Deliberately destroying something (e.g., scratching a car, breaking electronics, damaging furniture).
- Trespassing: Entering someone’s home or property without permission, also in connection with stalking.
Insults: Publicly insulting someone, through words, gestures, or actions.
«I downplayed it. It wasn’t that bad. But the court saw it differently.»
«I only realized later how much I had hurt her.»
If you have used violence, the police or a court may refer you to a treatment program or counseling. You can also take the initiative yourself and seek support voluntarily. This shows that you are taking responsibility and may be taken into account in legal proceedings. Most importantly, it can help prevent further violence.
You cannot change what happened. But you can take responsibility and take steps to make sure it does not happen again. Seeking help is an important first step.
